Originally written on Sunday, Nov. 7, 2010.
I am not ready for Monday to be here....I am not ready to go to the doctor yet again. Lupron sucks the life out of me...I am so exhausted...which would be okay if it took the pain away...but it doesn't take it all away. What am I going to do tomorrow?! What decision will I have to make? The pain pills are being opened too frequently...I never leave home without an ice pack...I haven't slept through the night in weeks...and I have started throwing up from the pain again. I needed - desperately needed - a girls night and someone who is supposed to be the best friend ever couldn't seem to find 2 hours. I now know where that person's priorities are and will not depend on her in the future. In all honesty, I should only rely on myself anyway.
I am trying really hard not to hate my life and everything around me...tonight it is not working.
It is time to take my ice pack off to bed with me....sadly Monday mornings almost always start with a 7AM meeting....that is just the WRONG way to start a week :-)
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