Today...well tonight actually I was slapped in the face by reality.
When I was 21 and first told that I had 2 damaged fallopian tubes and alot of scar tissue, cysts, etc. I wasn't really concerned. My doctor told me that I could only get pregnant through IVF and again...I wasn't concerned. I didn't really think about the cost. I just assumed that you did IVF, insurance would cover it, and you would have a baby.
Tonight reality hit me square in the face. IVF doesn't always work. I am suffering, I hate my life, I am sick, and the only thing pushing me to get through each day is the fact that some day IVF will make me a mom. What if it doesn't? Why am I putting myself through this with such small odds that it will work?
The biggest question of all....
Why is THIS MY LIFE?! What did I do to deserve this? Why am I not happily married now at home snuggling my babies?!
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